don’t have much of these

She said “but it was unnatural”.

“Wow.” I said with the usual fluctuation I have on my tongue: “shock, is what i experience
whenever people see through me.” I continued: ”Did you ever do that before? I ask this
because when people see through me I feel that they touch me deep inside, and this is
why I thought you saw through me and have told me exactly something that I had felt
before; you touched me inside before... it wasn't about telling me what i feel but it was a smile,
some kindness and some patience and it was me learning and enjoying life, even if it were
for a few minutes, i don't have much of these so please excuse my childish excitement
whenever i see you... your face... you smile.

so one question was unasked and it reminds me of the man i always am, someone i don't
want to be, lives the moment after it's gone.

What I'm thinking about is how you might help me, as a friend, because like i just said, i
don't have many of these so please excuse my childish heart... please excuse me if i get
confused when you look away, and if i get overly-hyper if you look my way. it's just, and
honest is what i say, i don't have many of these, and not many of these either...
Now that I tell you lots of what's inside me, please don't get a wrong impression and not
see through me... don't let the language alter the feelings, which are never converted
completely to words, anyways.