Thursday, December 27, 2012

Advanced C++ and responsibility


I was a really focused person. I didn’t pay attention to the people around me with all the interfering psychological elements of being a part in a group, except when I had to show some manners like when I was revising some of the concepts of that Advanced C++ class after the lecture: there was me and a guy (who wasn’t a friend at the time) and we were separately experimenting with the clunky Visual C++ 6 IDE, way before .NET, there was a girl sitting shyly with a smile looking at me and doing nothing. So I decided I will just keep her company since she so politely asked for it. The other guy joined the conversation and then I’ve let them enjoy it and got back to what I was doing. I really enjoyed that class and I’m not recalling some interesting moments.
Dr. M A, let’s call him so. He was an enthusiastic lecturer and I enjoyed his class. After the class finished I kept meeting people who were very interested in me (I thought it was because of some superficial reason) and then I would realize that they have taken that class with me. After a while I thought that interestingly, my behavior in that class wasn’t so common and commanded lots of respect from all those people that I don’t even remember (since I was so focused-but unfortunately I missed on many relationships that might have proven to be interesting).
I was the accurate kind. In one lecture the professor was giving an example when he said “let’s say we have ‘Seen’ [the Arabic letter that corresponds to ‘S’,] the ASCII code of which…” that’s when I interrupted (some of the lectures had a more casual interactive format) saying: “You mean Unicode, there is no ASCII for ‘Seen’”. He smiled saying that is if I want to keep track of such subtle matters and continued. I felt satisfied.
The lectures continued through the semester and one day he was late. So I’ve written on the computer which was connected to the projector something blaming him for being late. I was just joking, with the professor with whom I felt I started to become friends. But when he saw it, he got upset and decided to punish everyone saying that he is the one in charge of the lectures and no one had authority to blame him. I think he thought it was disrespectful. Feeling guilty, I was waiting for him to finish to apologize. And when he said that he was going to punish everyone by taking off marks, I stood up and said that I am ready to take responsibility for what I have done. He asked me to sit down, ignoring my admission.
I saw him after the lecture and I asked him why he didn't take it simply as a lighthearted joke. He told me that people here (in the University of Jordan) were the kind that takes the opportunity to disrespect and the kind the schemes and talks behind one’s back. There is rarely pure and simply honesty here. I apologized and we remained on good terms. It was easy for me, someone who loves what they study, to get along with his professors.
He also gave me one of the most important social interaction advice that took me years to understand: “dealing with people through layers of indirection, or interfaces.”
Now going back to my colleagues, I think they admired my readiness to admit and face the consequences. Another clue of having the incident attracting attention is one guy’s remark saying that the blame should be on the person who did it even after I have admitted it (the professor insisted on punishing everyone) and it was obvious who that guy to blame was. I don’t like to deal with people who just like to make provocative remark and my response was just mere short eye contact.
BSc times, I had to do lots of maturing up…

Friday, October 5, 2012

An Incomplete Attempt of Description

There is in her that kind of happiness that you decide to have deliberately not only as a consequence of ignorance or mere silliness. When you look at her you see her eyes and body radiating warmth with inviting simplicity that won't burden you cognitively. But having said that, her mind-fucking techniques most probably will in an intellectual game of mental domination and control.

I'm trying to make explicit, to myself what happens when she smiles. She has sophistication but not to the extent of annoying complexity so sometimes she entices you to analyze but her kindness makes you comfortable enough to think that you don't really have to. One of the things that come to my mind when I look at her, besides the brightness in her eyes is that there is a tiny aura of an angel (which she absolutely is not).

Most vital to my attraction to her is her ability to make me respect her mind. She gave the impression that she is intelligent and I believe that there is much wisdom and experience in her. Now I want to do her.

It's been a while since I actually admired a woman.

Monday, July 23, 2012

نقاش و أسئلة

دعوت إثنين من أصدقائي ذي التفكير العميق لنتناقش في أمور تهمنا لنطوِّر قدرتنا على فهمها و على الدفاع عنها فكرياً و بالعمل. أريد مشاركة مجتمعي بهذه الجلسة الشبابية التي تبدو من بعيد على أنها جلسة جدال أو كلام فاضي أخرى، و لكنها في الحقيقة حوار عن هَمِّ الشباب العربي عن حال بلاده و الأمة التي ينتمي إليها و طموحاته المستقبلية. هدفنا أن نتقابل مرة أخرى و نبني على ما تعلمناه عن الموضوع و عن أنفسنا كمناقشين للموضوع.
لم يكن هناك إختلاف عن صُغْرِ نسبة أفراد المجتمع المحفزين للإنتاجية، المُلهَمين، الذين يبحثونَ بجدية كلّ يوم عن معنى الحياة و عن عمق فكري و تجارب تُطَوِّرَهُم (ليس كلاماً يدعو للإحباط لوجود الكثيرين من المنتجين العرب الذين سيحملون مجتمعاتهم للنمو و الإزدهار، لكن هناك مشاكل منها الصعوبات التي يواجهها المفكرين  المنتجين في المسير مع مجتمعاتهم نحو القمة نظراً لقلة نسبة أفراد المجتمع الذين يساهمون بأقدار لها إعتبار).
الاختلاف كان حول ماهية المُحَرِّك للتَطُّور و كيفية بناءُه. أولاً، ما هي أهمية توجيه خطابات حقيقية لإثارة نفوس الناس نحو العمل و الإنتاجية التي تعود بمحصلتها إلى نتائج ترفع من قدر المجتمع كُله، نفسياً، اجتماعيا، علمياً ثقافياً و اقتصادياً و في كافة الأبعاد التي تَهُمُّنَا؟ أن ندرك أهمية النَظر إلى التَطَوُّر من منظور مُحصلة إنتاجية الأفراد هو ما يتبين لنا من القياس التالي: عندما يضيع يوم شخص واحد و يكون حال الشخص مماثلاً لحال مئة آخرين فإن خسارة المجتمع من الوقت هي أكثر من ثلاثة أشهر. و لذلك نقول أن سنوات تضيع كلَّ يوم على مجتمعنا. هذه العلاقة فِعْلِيَّة إلى حد يتجاوز اعتقادات الكثيرين. مجتمعنا يتألّفُ منا جميعاً و يحتاج إلينا جميعاً أقوياء و مُنْتِجِين. ما هو حال خطاب القيادة التي تقود الشعب و هل هي مُلهِمة و مُحركة؟ ثانياً، ما هي أهمية مُرُور المجتمع في حالة من الدمار و الإنهيار و الهزيمة لكي يَتَجدّد و يَنْهَض نحو التطور؟ كانت حجة أحدنا مثال اليابان التي ضُرِبت بقنابل نووية، و ألمانيا التي خَسرت الحرب العالمية الثانية، فهذان مثالان على تطور و نهوض بعد صعوبات ضخمة و أوضاع جعلت شعوبها تدرك بالمؤكد أنّ حالها سيء جداً و أنها مُسَحت و تدمرت. هل هذا ما يلزمنا؟ كيف نُنشيء أزمة، أزمة فكرية، إذا كان هذا ما يلزمنا؟ كانت ملاحظة زميلي الآخر المضادة هي أن شعبنا يعلم أن حاله سيء و للأسف أصبحت عادة أن نكونَ سلبيين في الحديث لدرجة استمتاعنا بانتقاد الحكومة و موظفيها، الشعب، و أنفسنا دون أي ذرة من الموضوعية أو الهدف، و نقوم بذلك الى درجة الاحباط و تعويد أنفسنا مع مفهوم الفشل.
بذلك، عُدْنَا الى موضوع توجيه خطابات الى الشعب فهي قد تكون بنوعان، ثالثهما مزيج بينهما (أدع للقاريء التعمق في التفكير بخصوص الطرق المتعددة الخِطابية و غيرها لتحفييز الجماهير). النوع الأول خطاب قاسي لتوعية الشعب بمشاكله الكبيرة و الكثيرة و بالوضع الفكري السيء الذي يعيش فيه و خطورة عدم التصرف الجاد نحو حل لهذا الأمر، و النوع الثاني أسلوب إالهامي و تحفيزي لجعل الشعب يُدْرِك قدرته على تحقيق حياة أفضل، واقع يكون فيه الشعب القادر منتجاً، طموحاً و قوياً قادراً على مواجهة تحدياته بفعالية.
لدقائق طويلة تخيفني من إنهيار الحوار نتشتت بين نقاشات لا أرى في نهايتها مُلَخَّص آخذه معي. قد يكون وجود الدقائق تلك ناتجاً طبيعياً لندرة حديثنا في هذه الأمور أو جزء طبيعي من أي حوار. أنتظر الفرصة بفارغ الصبر و بدون استسلام حتى يعود الحوار الى مستواه المفيد.
غرض كتابتي لهذا هو مشاركتي أفراد مجتمعنا نقاشاً صغيراً مدته حوالي النصف ساعة للتذمير أن الشباب العربي لم ينفك بالتفكير بحاله و لم تنطفيء طموحاته كما يبدو من بعيد؛ فالضباب يعيق الرؤية و يجعلنا نعتقد أن لا أحد يأبه بوضع ثقافتنا، علمنا، تفكيرنا و  طموحنا و غيرها من أبعاد تكويننا كمجتمع و أفراد. أذكر أن كل تلك هي فقط محصلة وجودها في كل فرد منا و الضمير "نا" لا يعني أن جميعنا بطموح واحد و تفكير واحد و إنما أن كلنا لدينا طموحه و تفكيره الفردي الخاص و المجتمع هو محصلة نجاحاتنا المنفصلة.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

ركضت

ركضتُ ضِعْف المسافة التي أركضها عادةً و بِضعْف الحماس. أركض لأزيل الحُزْنَ الذي تعفن في رأسي و الذي لُمتُ أهلي بسببه لمدة طويلة، طويلة لحد الندم على ضياع الوقت، الحب و استبدالهما بالندم، الخوف و البُعْد.

أثار ركضي الكثيرين الناطقين و مثلهم غير الناطقين، المجانين الذين أتى واحدٌ منهم مصدراً أصواتاً متشنجة و متحمسة لا أدري إنْ كانت ساخرة أو مشجعة.

ركضت بقوة الجسد و الفِكر. كانت الموسيقى هذه المرة إيقاع الخطوات و الأنفاس التي تتخللها خيالات بمستقبل لا نحتاج فيه الى رأتين و قلب؛ فقد نجد طريقة أخرى لإيصال الأكسجين و الغذاء الى الخلايا (خاصة خلايا الدماغ)، و أفكار عن أجهزة برمجية تستطيع القياس بلا حدود فتتعلم من الموسيقى أو حتى أشكال النباتات هياكل برمجية و أنماط تحكم، تراكيب بيانات و خوارزميات معقدة دون قيود، و وعود بمستقبل باهر و ثقة و إصرار بالمضي حتى وحيداً في مسيرة خاصة للنجاح بمساهمة راقية لمن تبقى من الراقي من البشر و فخر بتحرري من ثقافات ضعيفة باستهتارها بالعقل البشري، و تقليلها من شأن الإلهام و الأحلام و فخر بقوة أبي و سُخْط على عالم ضائع صَعَّب حياته.

في صعود التلِّ قليل الانحدار، كثير التعب، لا يتبقى لي غَيْرُ أحلامي و الألم لتلهياني عن التفكير بالوقوف قليلاً أو المشي. لكني أخاف الوقوفَ فتمضي بدوني أحلامي، أو المشي فأشيخ فجأة فلا يتبقى لي غير المشي.

لست و حيداً، لكن أصدقائي القليلين وحيدون. ننتظر جميعنا متمنيين انطلاق أحدنا الى اللانهاية ملهماً أعدائنا، أحبائنا و أنفسنا و مذكراً لنا أن بقوة العلم، بعقولنا لا و لن ننتهي. و العلم لا يؤخذ إلا بقوة الإرادة. ورثت عن أبي القليل من الحكمة و الكثير من القوة، الإرادة، الذكاء، القدرة، الأصرار و الرغبة في التعويض عن عدم قدرتي على تعلم كل شيء منه و الرغبة في تجاوزه و التفوق على نجاحاته العظيمة. فهذا أحد تبريرات هوسي و شغفي أيها الضعفاء الذين أتجاهلهم كلَّ يوم كلما أتيتم بلا عقل، بلا قلب، بلا روح، و بلا أَمَلْ. لكنكم لن تزعجوني كثيراً فبينكم مِنْ مَن لا يُرِيدُ البقاء معكم الكثيرين، الذين يعلمون، مثلي، أن الحياة، عندما ننظرالى السماء و نراها أكثر من مجرد سقف، أجمل.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Rebel Lecturer


I was very enthusiastic today to hear about a careless student who then decided to work hard and become an excellent student and then became a lecturer at the University at which he was considered a menace, a trouble maker.

He was rebellious as a student and still as a lecturer and did not hesitate to criticize and find his own ways to find solutions to the challenges he faces and communicator of knowledge someone who wants students not to be taught but to learn and learn how to learn.

The educational system in Jordan is in great need of people like him as most faculty members quickly embrace that status quo and the traditional ineffective educational methods (if they haven’t done so already during their high school or college) and do nothing about it.

Students are usually the ones who fight this alone, neglected by official authorities as the uneducated menaces, even though we all know that everyone suffers because of an ineffective creativity-killer educational system. It is inspiring to see that there are lecturers, i.e. faculty members who are supposed to be the system, actually opposed and fight for it.

This did not come at zero cost. The hero-lecturer faced warnings and managerial overrides in addition to the struggle with the other zombie-lecturers: those undead who can’t or just won’t change anything for the better, but yes, for the worse. And it is not not-bad that we want, we want excellent and progress.

As an undergraduate in the University of Jordan who is just about to graduate, I felt I wanted to blame him; why did not he make himself even more visible to other universities? Why didn’t I hear of him before? I would have been one of his most enthusiastic supports as a first-hand sufferer. I felt abandoned by one of my most needed heroes. But I understand the difficulty, especially in a country like Jordan, to invoke a change in what people are used to (let alone what a system is used to).

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Soy Conversations

I tried to rephrase it without being an utter geek but now I wonder if only she would be able to understand me if I said:
"Soy Sauce derives from soy. Soy milk also derives from soy. Now, the question is, is the taste of Soy milk consistent with the taste one could deduce of soy given the information obtained about the taste of soy sauce?"

I asked her if generally soy milk tastes like soy sauce but that wasn't really my question. She said no, they are different. And of course they are different.

But like apples juice and apple pie. They are both derivatives of apples and the derived implementations are consistent with the base class. Meaning they both abstractly taste like apples.

A month after I wrote this I asked another Taiwanese friend the same question, but stated this time much more naturally (this phrasing didn't occur to me the first time). I said: "I have tasted soy sauce but didn't taste soy milk." I wanted to continue with a question, but she interrupted me like a stupid bubbly person saying lots of blahs and stuff about Tofu. I then asked: "Given that I have tasted Soy Sauce, can I imagine the taste of Soy Milk?". She said yes, but Soy Milk is sweet. Looking forward to try that thing.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

[Draft] Power delegation

Most of the people I knew, when they think of greatness they immediately delegate the greatness and its possession to gods and supernatural beings and tend to view the matter spiritually. This kind of thinking is that of a convenient humble person who is not going to help humanity progress.

The purpose of human life is to obtain as much power as possible in order to do whatever it is that we imagine. That’s the ultimate general human ambition. Anything can be done, but we need to gain power to actually do it.
Our philosophical views on life would change if our abilities increases. (Also our ability will increase if we embrace an attitude that drives us to desire more power.) Great men are always on their feet, they are always tired, they are always working, and they are stressed and not relaxed waiting for greatness to be achieved by some, real or imagined, being. With every major human development, they are actively taking chances, creating chances, failing and succeeding. Some tend to want to avoid that altogether and some find excuses to not want it in the first place. Not very dissimilar from kids procrastinating on their household chores or homework.
We need to free ourselves from all that fear, the fear of admitting that human beings can become the gods that they worship.
We don’t want to admit that human beings will live eternally, will live much richer and meaningful lives than the one we have now, and will simply experience things we can only imagine nowadays (and perhaps lots of other things we don’t even imagine). And we don’t want to admit because we’re too weak to face the disturbing thought involved in acknowledging the existence of something we want badly and the capacity of other people (beyond us in space and time) to get what we failed/are failing to get. What an egoistic (because we assume we are the best, we have the best possible life every), and pricey failure (because we are missing out!).
But how? Science. We need to focus on scientific discovery and advancement much more as a species. I wonder about the percentage of scientists in the various fields of science in the world. More human effort need to be invested in the scientific human endeavor. People shall respect science as the means to move forward and never doubt the power of the accurate acquisition of information and our attempts to exactly represent/model and understand the world.
Biology, medicine, genetics, neurology, psychology, mathematics and computer science are the means for a literally eternal life and not prejudiced assumptions about god and history and false causal associations. It’s not our weaknesses, failure and fears that decide what’s possible.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Imperfect Nature of Democracy


The following is a passing point of thought, not thoroughly investigated though.

People should stop calling for democracy as the single best political structure for all countries.

Democracy is simply and greatly affected by propaganda and this is the primary function of political parties and election campaigns.

A considerable amount of the masses, the thoughtless masses – and there are many in every country, – are manipulated into following a specific political movement by social or psychological means that aren’t logical or the results of which aren’t the best for the entity, the governing of which is the concern (most commonly countries).

I am against monarchies because who appointed a king? What divine right do kings and queens have and what justifies their designation as such? (This is also questionable even in those countries where a prime minister is in control over the political affairs and major decisions, and the power is with the people). Being a King or Queen is just silly to me, just like being a dictator. So I’m not saying here is that democracy is wrong, but remarking upon its imperfections.

People are not equal. Democracy is based upon the principle that everyone has the right to vote and equally participate in the governing process. This means that it gives way for further imperfections, malfunction and a weak system based on statistical variables of the people participating in such a democracy.

Considering the simple flaws of the democratic process, that sometimes mimics that of product/service commercials, democracy is not something to be sought blindly and in every context. Sometimes it’s not suitable.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Null emotional

I'm not an emotional person. In fact, I was very emotional when I was a kid. I think life experiences stripped away my emotions. Now, friends leaving, graduating from university, people crying, lectures ending, friends leaving for good, friends coming back after a long time, doesn't make me feel anything. I'm like action-oriented. No love no emotions and the things that I consider are actions. You're paralyzed, ugly, don't know how to draw, you don't know how to party, or to dress right, but you know how to write software: all respect. If you have all the confidence in the world, dress perfectly, talk appropriatly, dance and party, know how to be a genius, but you don't do anything, then you don't exist to me.

Being warmly congratulated by someone I don't know for my graduation made me feel like oh man, people are so emotional. I am like, whatever, next level more independent software and computer science research, work at a company and do my post graduate learning.

My roommates are leaving back to taiwan. Great see you later. I really liked them and enjoyed my time with them. But what? Cry? For what? See you when I see you.

I am not a bad person. Not only because I don't do bad things to people but I don't ignore them completely. I try to be as nice as I can but generally I am distracted and can't stand a minute without doing work or engage in interesting conversations.

May 17

She started to mutter La7n el 7aya! I was very happy. She's from half way around the world and we can sing the tune together.

I told her the story of the invisible rose the old man gave me, which I authored when I was in high school. It is good to remember such stories because it reminds me that I need to have direction in my life.

We started to talk about her family jobs and so on. Death and retirement. Deep topics. I really like this girl.

May 15

Yesterday, May14, went with Lena karting then to Bubble tea then to TGI Fridays
Today, Woke up at about 1PM and started working on getting harder words for my dict game app.

Monday, May 21, 2012

سعادة الفشل


Today I felt that my mental psychological responses to events have matured, fine-tuned to facilitate determination towards success. I made this observation today when I felt like I failed, I was indeed disappointed but I was very happy because that fact that I wasn't successful meant that I actually tried, and the key to success according to many success stories, is trial and learning from error.

Today I got the Third place in a competition that I really wanted to win. My application has lots of potential, but what I think it lacked and made the other applications win is their guaranteed audience and the fact that they are well-polished as final products. I obtained valuable insights about several of my applications.

I proved once more (to myself) that I really need to focus my efforts. My mind is still scattered between several ideas I’m really enthusiastic about. I need to get things in control, be really effective with time since I need to get things done before they pile up and lose all focus!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Breathing


I am listening to a audio lecture about Psychology and hearing the lecturer say that neurons do cell operations just like normal cells, for example respiration, invoked me to breathe in compulsively, fearing I’m not providing enough oxygen to my nerve cells.

I always enjoyed fresh air and I’m glad that I lived on the sea shore in a little town where there was actually fresh air all day and night. Now in Amman I need to wake up early in the morning to grasp some fresh air. Rarely can I wake up at that time, which means that most of the breaths I take in this polluted city, I guess just like any city in the desert with old cars and big buses running in the street, aren’t fresh and filled with smoke and dust, not the oxygen I need.

I wish, like I have always intensely (read *******) wished, to have a oxygen mask and carry a small tube of liquid oxygen in my backpack and allow my mind not to die breathing the crap in our polluted city air. I really believe that it makes a difference in the quality of my life, since my energy is much greater, I have more optimism, I work harder and more effectively, and have more ideas when the air is fresh and I feel down when someone is smoking a cigarette or the air is too polluted.

My life will be considerably better if I move to a cleaner place, like the suburbs or the sea-side (or another country) or if I just get that oxygen mask that I always wanted (I don't mind the weight of the oxygen tube I'll have to carry around, unless it's very heavy - in which case I'll use it at home).

Sunday, April 29, 2012

غبار برمجي

سينقضي الوقت بسرعة و سأفاجأ في يوم من الأيام من ضُعْفِ تحكمي به و سأبدأ بالتقاط ما تبقى منه بيأس و بشكل مثير للشفقة.

سألني أحد أصدقائي عما حدث بعد غيابٍ طويل, و قد حدث الكثير, لكني لم أجب, فقد ذهب الوقت و ذهبت معه الذكريات و لم يتبقى سوى أنا و ضياع الوقت الذي يتشتت بين وعيي بهذا الشيء و ذاك.

أمضيتُ يوميَ كله و أنا "أحقق أحلامي". جالسٌ بألم في سجن تحقيق الأحلام و منهمك بالضغط على أزرار لوحة المفاتيح و بناء أصرح برمجية قد لا يكون لها دور غير مشاركتي في وحدة هذا الوقت المتبعثر بين الأحلام و جمال الحياة المتغبر, المختبيء خلف فكرة لم تأتي.. بعدْ.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Dar Al Anda, Amman

I went to several galleries that are part of the Image Festival held by the French Institute in Amman. The first one was in the Electricity Hangar and it was very interesting. I loved being there because, besides the creativity of the photography artists, there was a video exhibit with the theme of chaos and had photos about the Russian invasion of Czech back in the 60s. That was particularly interesting to me because I had no idea about the area, the history or the time when I read a story by Milan Kundera that references Prague. I had a very interesting conversation with one of the artists, who was the winner, it was nice to hear from him how he works and thinks.

Yesterday I was in the Balad, specifically Basman Street which is famous for its electrical equipment shops. I was done with my electricity experiments and took a bus back to the University of Jordan area. Just 5 minutes after I got into the bus and it started moving I noticed an Image Festival banner. I had no idea that there was an Image Festival exhibit there. Being very tired and already paid the Bus driver I hesitated for a moment but of course I asked him to drop me. I went to the venue which happened to be the oldest historical house with the most integrity and learnt about the Diwan of the Duke ديوان الدوق. I was very happy to meet Mr. Bsharat who opened the historical place as a historical exhibit open to the public. There wasn't much art, but the place was interesting because of its age. I talked to some of the visitors and they told me about some Image festival exhibit that was particularly interesting and that ends today. I thought I must visit it.

That exhibit was at Dar Al Anda. So I went there and I saw interesting oil paintings of trees. I found a Home magazine from 1994. I thought, ok these are interesting but I must see more to be satisfied. I went downstairs and saw some old pictures of Amman from the early 1900s (around 1914-1989). There was a fantastic panoramic photo of the city from 1941, if I recall correctly, it was for 300JD, which is nothing for someone who really wants it.

I went back upstairs and past the oil painting of the trees. I went inside a tall and narrow rectangular and at one of its ends there was an office. I was just amazed by the variety of the arts there. Amazing Sudanese work: both paintings and what the artist called garad, I think, it was gourd in English. They were interesting half-globes that are used for drinking and also as a musical instrument in rural areas in Sudan. The artist, who I was very lucky to meet, told me about his technique and I shared with him my love for the art both his and others' that was presented there. He also has painting that uses more than a single material: oil-paint but also animal fur.

The show room also contained sculptures. The most interesting of which was a tap. I so wanted that one but I was shy to ask for its price.  In my mind, the tap fits perfectly on my desk as it is not so invasive and complicated, but simple with a flat squared base from which a pipe goes up and ends with a tap. The interesting part is that the tap is open and what comes out of it are birds, not water. That would add lots of imagination and vitality to my cold boring desk.

Hugging Someone I Don't Know

March-11

I felt very emotional, I was overwhelmed with warmth. I felt a desire to grab the two tiny creative creatures and hug them.

I love art and they gave me a piece of their work. I spent five minutes contemplating the working light bulb with lots of words written on it, closer to the tip of the bulb there is written:
"An equisite pleasure had invaded my senses but individual detached with no [..]ugge[..]tion of its [..]".
Manal and Eman marked a moment in my day that has already been marked with successes with wires and magnets. Their mark was a mark of happiness and warmth.

I remember that days when I used to go to Turtle Green and happily watch them work. I admired their work everytime I went there. It expressed intricacy in a very interesting way.

Today I saw them cutting the ropes and destroying the masterpiece. I was unhappy, but thrilled because I thought they were going to revampt their work of art. To my disappointment and immediate get-over moment, they told me someone else is going to fill that space with their own work of art.

It felt like they are going to leave the place for good. I felt sad but happy for them because their work was excelllent. It made me think and feel good.

Just before I grabbed by backpack to leave, Eman presented me with the light bulb and I immediately thought of something that didn't occur to me: taking a piece as a souveneir, as a memory of something I have admired. Of two girls I didn't know but loved. She said: "because you're a fan". I was very happy. Kept me having a big smile for many minutes.

I will love owning this. Hope I'll settle in a home before I lose it so that I can hang it there is a piece of art that has meaning and memory to me and which this post documents.