Saturday, June 13, 2015

Dizzying Thirst

First of all, it is important to understand that thirst, especially in the hot and humid Abu Dhabi weather, can be dangerous. Remain well hydrated as it is healthy and keeps your body functioning correctly. In this post, I am reflecting on an experience of feelings and thoughts while I seek the quenching of my thirst after waking in the middle of my sleep very thirsty. I similarly blog on what I feel and think when I have a good jog, for example: Exercise Note 5.

I finally decide to park to express what I am experiencing.

Thirst is some kind of focus on a nagging need. Thirst for water is just one kind, and is similar in many ways to other desires and ambitions we might have. I have a strong desire for a richer life filled with passion, innovation, wisdom and exploration, and so I can say I have a thirst for such a better life. Thirst is a physical feeling indeed, but it is interesting to regard it in a deeper way. Thirst comes with clarity and an internal desire/goal to quench it, lessen it, and remove it by eagerly drinking a deliciously cool liquid. But I keep myself from satisfying the thirst and take advantage of this thirsty mental state and let the thoughts flow.

I think of cool sparkling water and some lemon, and even indulging in some kind of sugar-filled drink that would satisfy my thirst but also pleasure me by stimulating my brain. I’m more health aware now, and I avoid much sugar, so having it is an interesting delicious pleasure.

The focus is on quenching the thirst, but I am enjoying the clarity of having the clear goal of quenching it. I am very thirsty, but since I slept very well, I am comfortable and my thoughts are clear, at least I think they are. At least I am able to reflect and think about my current state of being, and I am trying to make the most of it. I realize that my thirsts are many, so I cannot just ignore this opportunity of reflecting on my physical thirst, and just simply quench it, without reflecting on it. I understand that one’s physical state affects their mental state, so I am postponing changing my physical state by drinking water, until I explore my current mental state.

Before responding to what I am feeling, I think about it. I understand it by describing it to myself, visualizing it, imagining it, and thinking about its constituents and they why behind it. Sometimes I go to the extent of thinking about a potential evolutionary directive behind it. This heightened awareness enables me to avoid being reactive and know myself better, before I just succumb to some instinctual primitive desire or impulse to act on the feeling such as quenching my thirst or addressing whichever discomfort I'm feeling. Of course, if I don’t understand it, I don’t let it control what I do. Thirst is pretty basic, and I do understand it, but still I was looking for more, so I searched for a place I’d feel comfortable to write and clarify my thoughts to myself primarily, and to share it here.

I left my home because I didn't have any water and the thirst was kind of dizzying. Maybe I was a little light headed from sleeping too much but I was still able to think clearly. I drove away from home to get some water, and minutes later I started to realize that there is more to what I am currently experiencing than just a desire to drink some water and go back home. There is something about sitting in the driver’s seat and driving off; and sometimes I love to combine the rush of jogging with driving, but that’s the topic of an exercise note. I drove farther than I needed. I kept driving because I wanted to reflect more on what I am experiencing. This is a mental expedition.

Thoughts started to emerge in my head, including the reflective thought of parking to write down my thoughts and the thought that dizzying thirst does not necessarily mean lack of clarity and confusion, but quite the contrary: it is unrelenting focus on a particular goal. I was in my favorite area of Muroor, Abu Dhabi, driving from Khalifa City on Salam Road. There is so much to write as to why I like that area. I can take a left and go to my favorite Starbucks Muroor in the Technip building and enjoy some cool drink there, but this pattern is something that I have done over and over that it is barely stimulating anymore. Also the thought of the possibility of finding many people there, after I park my car and get a Mawaqif ticket, made that thought of going to Starbucks less appealing. A fleeting thought of just parking on the side of the road to write before ideas start to evaporate, fleeted.

There is something about Abu Dhabi that inspires me in various ways: intellectually as it makes me want to read, learn, experience, explore, talk to people to find out what’s behind their faces and bodies, be inspired by the leaders and successful people here, and physically as it makes me want to exercise, eat healthy, be healthy, take care of myself, and hedonistically by indulging in luxury and pleasure. Will I now enjoy some delicious mocktail?

I deviated in my last paragraph, just like I do in real life. Having many desires is something that could be distracting for someone like me. I was thinking about my lack of desire to go to Starbucks while I was still at the traffic light at the intersection that goes left from Salam road to Muroor area, so I just decided to go to Anantara to which I have been only once or twice (there were no cars at the intersection so I was able to do some ninja driving to go to the right lane). I am not familiar with this place particularly, yet I am very comfortable in the lobby of a 5 star hotel. Hotels here make me feel like home as I enjoy frequently staying at random 5 star hotels. Abu Dhabi has amazing hospitality experiences indeed.

I gave my car to the valet, and feeling automatically welcome, I just enter the lobby, quickly find a sofa and a nearby socket into which I plug my thirsty laptop. I turn it on, and as quickly as possible I login using a guest account without a password, and write this on notepad as I want to get started as soon as possible that I don't even want to wait for the couple of seconds that Microsoft Word takes to load.

As I write, I occasionally glance up at the people and the amazing lobby. That woman in the patterned yellow dress certainly looks comfortable. I should not just transition to a state similar to hers without understanding myself. I am not here to satisfy my basic needs, and this is why I have to stay hungry or thirsty until I get myself together. I get myself together by reflecting deeply, even when I'm at a deep loss, in a turbulent state, or very thirsty or hungry or otherwise very uncomfortably physically or emotionally. I aim to exceed my physical innate self.

I never stayed in Anatara as a guest! This place reminds me of being totally broke, dancing classes and emotions. Certainly the lobby and this writing experience makes me want to stay here for at least a night.

I am writing with satisfaction even with the thirst. I am here thirsty and happy with mental clarity, strength, and accomplishment that makes me feel that quenching my thirst will be a rewarding experience that I surely deserve. I feel accomplished because of this writing, as it helped me transform the physical thirst to life wisdom. That makes me feel powerful. Writing is a powerful act. I am doing this to ensure that my thoughtful, ambitious, high-level goals of modern self comes before that of the basic self: survival, and quenching hunger and thirst. I am not a physical being, and since I'm not literally dying, quenching thirst and satisfying hunger come after the thoughts and ambitions of the modern successful man I am... aiming to be.

This magnificent lobby is inspiring, and the perfectly sufficient dim lighting is so comfortable. The high ceiling of the lobby with the modernized traditional oriental architectural elements, is marvelous indeed. It is a very comfortable place to be in to express thoughts comfortably. There are dates and coffee in the middle and a host in a Kandora making sure it's organized and being hospitable. I avoided eye-contact with him because I don't want him to interrupt my thoughts. Although I am sure he will be very welcoming and just offer me some coffee and dates. I think he understands that I am looking for some time alone.

[take picture of lobby from POV and put it here (I’ll do that the next time I’m in Anantara)].

I went upstairs, and like almost every time I go to a similar place, I just drink water. I enjoy the music, the place, the rejuvenation of pure sparkling water with lemon, and clarity and peace of mind. I think ahead and ready myself to become a better person.

9:09PM June-6-2015.

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