Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Null emotional

I'm not an emotional person. In fact, I was very emotional when I was a kid. I think life experiences stripped away my emotions. Now, friends leaving, graduating from university, people crying, lectures ending, friends leaving for good, friends coming back after a long time, doesn't make me feel anything. I'm like action-oriented. No love no emotions and the things that I consider are actions. You're paralyzed, ugly, don't know how to draw, you don't know how to party, or to dress right, but you know how to write software: all respect. If you have all the confidence in the world, dress perfectly, talk appropriatly, dance and party, know how to be a genius, but you don't do anything, then you don't exist to me.

Being warmly congratulated by someone I don't know for my graduation made me feel like oh man, people are so emotional. I am like, whatever, next level more independent software and computer science research, work at a company and do my post graduate learning.

My roommates are leaving back to taiwan. Great see you later. I really liked them and enjoyed my time with them. But what? Cry? For what? See you when I see you.

I am not a bad person. Not only because I don't do bad things to people but I don't ignore them completely. I try to be as nice as I can but generally I am distracted and can't stand a minute without doing work or engage in interesting conversations.

May 17

She started to mutter La7n el 7aya! I was very happy. She's from half way around the world and we can sing the tune together.

I told her the story of the invisible rose the old man gave me, which I authored when I was in high school. It is good to remember such stories because it reminds me that I need to have direction in my life.

We started to talk about her family jobs and so on. Death and retirement. Deep topics. I really like this girl.

May 15

Yesterday, May14, went with Lena karting then to Bubble tea then to TGI Fridays
Today, Woke up at about 1PM and started working on getting harder words for my dict game app.

Monday, May 21, 2012

سعادة الفشل

Today I felt that my mental psychological responses to events have matured, fine-tuned to facilitate determination towards success. I made this observation today when I felt like I failed, I was indeed disappointed but I was very happy because that fact that I wasn't successful meant that I actually tried, and the key to success according to many success stories, is trial and learning from error.

Today I got the Third place in a competition that I really wanted to win. My application has lots of potential, but what I think it lacked and made the other applications win is their guaranteed audience and the fact that they are well-polished as final products. I obtained valuable insights about several of my applications.

I proved once more (to myself) that I really need to focus my efforts. My mind is still scattered between several ideas I’m really enthusiastic about. I need to get things in control, be really effective with time since I need to get things done before they pile up and lose all focus!