Thursday, December 2, 2010

Sheep and Democracy


The sheep of the world protested with determination demanding its rights. The sheep ran in demonstrations against the tyrant shepherd and with methods of peace and war demanded congress and democracy.

After much conflict, the sheep were granted their rights and were given freedom. The sheep couldn’t protect themselves and the wolves came and ate them all. How thoughtless are sheep.

Dictatorship could be justified and democracy is not always the best choice for a nation.

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Boredom is a serious problem and challenge. The effects of boredom on personality and mental function are greatly increased when boredom is extended over an unnatural period of time. Being bored after being bored makes you dull and less active mentally while excitement and fun reactivate your mind gradually and makes you more vibrant inside.

The theory is that people who are less bored are more successful because they have a more opened-minds and higher energy levels. This is why children who play around and have fun are smarter than those who don’t.

Just work hard and just before you overkill yourself with work, take a break. Go play and do something different, grab a children’s toy or go extreme snowboarding.


Now I’m going to go to the dentist to fix my molar tooth.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

You can’t have a magnet with a single polarity, NS or nothing.

Sacrifice, Victory

No sacrifice, no victory


I know that there are lots of things that I am giving up

There are sad stories and pain that comes along with sacrifice

But still I want victory

Which means that along with my victory there is going to be tears and regret, lots of wars and pain

This a natural part of life and it is ok. When you say I want to live, according to some thinking framework, this means that you will have as much happiness as sadness and as much comfort as pain

No sacrifice, no victory

Friday, August 13, 2010

3eddo 5allas

3eddo 5alllas el saif. Zy ma 5allas el saif elli fat. Wo 3eddo 5allas elli b3d el saif. Wo b3deeha 3eddo be5ales elli b3d. zy ma 5allaso el ayyam elli fato. Zy abel akam men yoom kan fe sana Tanya, sana owla, wo ableeha saif el 7oreyya wo 2ellet el fehem b3d tawjihi. Wo 5allas tawjehi wo sanet 3asher wel emte7an el sa3eb kteer ayam saf tase3.

5alasat 3okobet el mosha3’aba wo 5alasat el estera7a. 5serna el mobara wo fazo homma wo 5elsat e7tefalat-hom. 7abeet-ha wo 5allas el 7ob wo eja 3’erha 3ala albi b3d ma ra7at wo 5allas el 7ob. Lessa fe taqqa bs el ayyam elli fato ra7o wel ayam elli jaya 7atroo7.

They do stuff and they make me feel empty because I never did it before. I want to do it with someone that I love.

I feel sad the night of August 7, 2010.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Trying to give love and the deception of this title

What to say, what to say?

Conflicts in recognition, appreciation and credit. Emotions, revolutionary, indeterminism, iron, efficiency, masks. Competition, jealousy, unfair, deception, control.

Compulsiveness and tears that won’t fall. Heavy, purpose, time, it’s getting easier to fall, pen, love and intelligence. Set, credit, communicate, sadness, attempt, not enough, again, jealousy, shade, fade, trying to get back.

Deception, selfishness, friendliness, sympathy then pity. Disgust, no love, sadness, forgetting then forgiving. Greed, my greed, ambition and competition.

Words, fate, world, life, work, alone, more, love, true, relative and contextual. Searching inside, strength and weakness. Neutral, implicit connection. Success, not mine, chance, mine but taken.

Idea, no credit, manager not I, try to hurt not meant, peace of mind. Reason doesn’t exist, don’t ask why. No sense required. Not for you. Not for you. You don’t want it. Not for you.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

don’t have much of these

She said “but it was unnatural”.

“Wow.” I said with the usual fluctuation I have on my tongue: “shock, is what i experience
whenever people see through me.” I continued: ”Did you ever do that before? I ask this
because when people see through me I feel that they touch me deep inside, and this is
why I thought you saw through me and have told me exactly something that I had felt
before; you touched me inside before... it wasn't about telling me what i feel but it was a smile,
some kindness and some patience and it was me learning and enjoying life, even if it were
for a few minutes, i don't have much of these so please excuse my childish excitement
whenever i see you... your face... you smile.

so one question was unasked and it reminds me of the man i always am, someone i don't
want to be, lives the moment after it's gone.

What I'm thinking about is how you might help me, as a friend, because like i just said, i
don't have many of these so please excuse my childish heart... please excuse me if i get
confused when you look away, and if i get overly-hyper if you look my way. it's just, and
honest is what i say, i don't have many of these, and not many of these either...
Now that I tell you lots of what's inside me, please don't get a wrong impression and not
see through me... don't let the language alter the feelings, which are never converted
completely to words, anyways.

Tin Cans Bag

Why do we feel bad when we see a poor kid carrying a huge bag (bigger than his size) and collecting tins from garbage? He had his body bent almost 90 degrees in order to be able to pull the bag behind him on his back. I felt like I should help him; maybe carry it down for him at least to the end of the stairs… But what I did was the typical: ignore. I ignored the kid while staring on the stairs which I’m slowing descending. Capitalism is not a bad thing, we just need lots of millionaires willing to give lots of their money to others.

I want to become a billionaire but I don’t want to live a lavish life, I want to enjoy it like ordinary people do and give most of my money to humanity.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Perfect Girl

Beautiful, sharp eyes with skin so soft and deliciously white, caramel tinted. Top that with barely visible freckles on her face.

What more could I possibly ask for? Imagination, a strong personality, an inspiring mind, dedication to scientific advancement, and passionate for enabling the use of Artificial Intelligence in scientific discovery in other earth sciences.

Man, forget it, just wanna hang around with you on some beach. Babe.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Biological Organ

No! No! No! This can't be just a lump of lipids inside of someone's head. This is the human brain, the cause of the effect which we are used to call the mind, this is the most sophisticated organ in the body.
I am thinking of those people whose brains are not organized, who only seem to have challenges learning new things or adapting to new conditions. The seem helpless and unhelpable but I don't want to consider anything other than that they can help themselves and be helped.
There must be a trigger, something to ignite a change in the brain that'll make everything organized that will result in the evolution of one's brain into a smart brain, one that is able to tackle challenges and solve problems.
Maybe I should study neuroscience.

Monday, June 14, 2010

What's this about?

Something's pushing my brain out of my head. I feel pressure on the sides and the ceiling of this repulsive skull. I feel sand or angry I'm not sure... Maybe both. I don't like it when I don't like seeing people that I don't like.
I don't want to be understood. I want to stop being irritated. Yes I am a Gemini and I do want to love* every girl I see. Provocative, I'm aggravated.
Time for metal music? "My heart's a grave yard baby... and to evil we make love..." Passion's Killing Floor - HIM
I love Scorpions because they have really good music. Lolerei. You gotta a problem with that? I feel I want to start a fight, oh which reminds me by  the way of a song called "Getting Away With Murder" for Papa Roach, it says "I feel irrational, so confrontational, [forgot the words], because I'm getting away with murder!" Good song. Better mood. Hang over? Yesterday was fine! Mmmm.
I need to call some people... I don't have the time. I need to do some work I said I'll commit to, but obviously I didn't.
So what's this about? People I love. There are many.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Brain extended

I'm not a neuroscientist but I have this idea. The brain is a network of neuronal cells (neurons) that is structured in an amazing and hard to comprehend manner.
The main point that I want to say is that why do we always eliminate the possibility that other parts of our body participate in the thinking and planning processes which are the main functions of the mind when we talk about the brain, what it is and what's part of it.
Since the brain is a group of connected cells, and sensor and control neurons that go to other body parts such as the heart, the hands, etc are connected to it, then they might also participate (for at least a limited extent) in the control, thinking and perception functions of the brain.

Update Feb 15th, 2012 [Draft update]:
For example, consider the fact that you can't think clearly and work on your math problems if your leg hurts. But why? A person doesn't think with their leg's nerves but they are connected to the CNS and affect its functioning. This is why continuous pain infliction could cause brain damage.

As a way to illustrate further the consequences of thinking in this direction, consider an infant  whose mental development occurred without the effects of the physical. How would their thinking be different that if they developed with the physical including pain, sexual gratification and others were involved.

One of my friends told me that some project human beings body's will evolve in a way such that they won't have limbs. What will happen to the parts of the brain that works to control these? They won't disappear but they will be utilized and they will be invoked to address other brain functions. Perhaps some that aren't currently mapped to any brain part.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Fat and the Brain

I came across this title while in the library: "Survival of the fattest: The Key to Human Brain Evolution". I wondered what this strangely titled book was about so I started with the cover and contents where I found the description of part 1: The Human Brain: Unique Yet Vulnerable.

The author says "Beginning with an introduction to human evolution and plasticity of the human brain, it turns to the brain's high energy requirements and the unique role of body fat as energy insurance for the developing brain for babies."

Bill Gates wrote in his first annual letter for his charity foundation that poor people are the least empowered to solve their problems. I find it appealing to relate this fact to the other fact that most kids in Africa are 'starvingly' thin. So a bag of rice really makes a difference and once people get enough to eat they'll have enough brain-power to solve their problems.

Take care and eat healthy. Our brains still need energy.

I'm reposting this as I am revisiting my role as a simple human being in solving the issues relating to poverty and other basic issues that human beings still face.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A conversation with a person X

Hi Mazin. Keefak? Ana embare7 blah blah blah and then blah blah blah [Mazin: tries to fake his desire to listen by trying to synthesize something useful to say but it’s really hard to respond to lots of blah blah blah. My attempts to respond are bombarded by another series of blahs that begin uniquely as follows]: Oh, you make me remember! That guys has a blah blah blah then his friend is blah with a blah and by the way there’s that blah blah that does a really interesting blah blah.

X is getting more excited about the perfection of the blah world with all the blah details. And this conversation will not stop so please go do something useful and leave me deal with it, I sacrifice myself so that you [the reader] go do something useful.

Mazin is immersed in that blah world and he starts to lose attention and consciousness. He is cast into a very distant and imaginary world and suddenly a seemingly random expression expressing amazement is rendered among the infinite stream of blahs, like this:

X: blah blah blah and blah… Hahahah this is so funny, blah blah blah blah and [Person Name] and X's friend blah blah. Mazin says “Wow.” And looks into the distance contemplating the imaginary world and X is more excited because X thinks that Mazin actually possesses the ability to listen to all what X says. UNFORTUNATELY I CAN’T! It’s just a rule of physics I guess, but I JUST CAN’T! It’s beyond my mental ability. But the powers of blahs are instatiable and they go on and on and on.

X: Listen remind me later to tell you about that pile of blahs that I have for you. Now let’s talk seriously about business.
Mazin: [I say to myself, finally, X is appreciating the concept of time.]
X: So let’s take this perspective when we talk about this project… [Interrupted by some guy, girl or whatever that is] Oh hey [person name], blah blah and bye. X continues: Sorry this guy talks much but I want to talk business so I’m going to talk to him later, blah and blah, you see I hate to talk a lot and I’m not like this all the time. But you see we have to talk about work because work is important and because we shouldn’t waste our time talking about blah and blah and yeah remind me to tell you about this blah blah that keeps on doing blah blah and you look just like him and he has blah blah. And with regards to blah blah that is related to our work it's blah blah also just like that.

Mazin: I think I’m going to permanently move to the imaginary world that I have created. Please wish me luck there.

X: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....

Sorry X, but I’m just expressing my frustration from wasting lots of brain cycles on this. Please consider upgrading your software.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

nice day

Forest, desert, scribbles and fun. (and i can't focus now.)
wow. great. woke up today and met some new people and ended up with new friends with which i've really enjoyed my time. thanks memo :)
yeah.. spending some time in the forest... taking random pictures and working with stressed people who want to get a movie done, was also fun...
The desert, as it was a dessert, great ending. and a warm hug.
black eyes. no no they're brown. yeah and beautiful, otherwise not mentioned.
iron man 2 for a conclusion before going to bed. don't wanna go to bed but really tired.
sand and I mean lots of sand. but only if you pick it up and scatter it. great place to camp. nothing, absolute loneliness, made great with someone you love.
memory card... some music. sandwich, donuts.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Different Perspectives

I was looking at it and rage was filling my heart. My memories were those of a devil's. What I saw were evilish deeds and devils on fire.What she saw was a butterfly, beautiful. I don't know what else she saw but it was comforting for a moment.
The colors in the sky changed and the story continued. The devil's has no favorite color and it was getting uglier by the moment, with each ugly thing it does. The day is ending and I am waiting for tomorrows disaster, what's going to happen inside my head.She was content the day is over and slept with optimism looking forward to the next day, another happy day. I realized that heaven and hell is what we imagine. Our mind and our imagination is what chooses whether we go to heaven or hell.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Relatively a god.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Mass Production

When you mass-produce cell phones, for example, you can't expect one cellphone to correspond to Albert Einstein and another to be as unique as Leonardo da Vinci.
Now public schools and universities are mass-education facilities, the cellphone (or person) that does not follow the assembly like is malfunctioning and is thrown away.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I need inspiration..
beddi eshi y5aleeni arsom rasma.. y5aleeni nefsi aktob eshi aw y3teeni 7ayaweyya
beddi ebtesama 3afaweyya men bent 5ajola wo tasarof mortabek men benet zeh2at tkoon hadaya wo 5ajoola
beddi arsom rasma wo a7ess b2eshi.. 3al 2a2al a7ess enno 3a2li mesh bs lal tafkeer wil mante2 bs brdo lal 7ob wel sho3oor.

There are treasures in every person and I believe anyone could inspire me to at least some extent
I'm not looking for love, but for that overwhelming sensation of absolute mental connectivity.. for absolute clarity and understanding.. for a vague picture I drew that I don't even know what it is, but she does, I need someone help give meaning to my mind.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Peaceful Pebbles

I like symbols and colors and this is why I like to scribble with my pen or more preferably sit down and peacefully reflect my imagination on a paper with some crayons.
Lots of A4s are sacrificed and many crayons are broken if I can’t control how I feel. I’m fed up with squares despite the fact that squares are my most favorite shape.
So I draw a square or two and then scribble randomly like a crazy person which I am. I scribble a little and suddenly crush the paper and throw it behind me.
I’m drawing circles and thinking about this girl who I only believe has what I’ve been wanting for a long while, something that I really want that I wish that it’s just wasn’t so crazy to just ask her for it: peace.
She’s so peaceful and just going round with my black crayon while thinking about her makes me relaxed. Circles and peace, maybe I just shouldn’t pressure myself with too much squares.
I am going to accept those fresh, curvy and edge-less graphical objects in what I draw and I will stop on hating them, just like I will stop being obsessed with squares.
I’ll leave it just as it is, simple and almost empty. Peaceful pebbles. I’ll leave the location of the pebbles, what’s behind the pebbles, why they are red, why the lines are black and the answer to lots of other questions, up to her imagination.
Then I’m just going to say hi, approaching this girl who I don’t even know and tell her that this is for you, while handing her what I have drawn while thinking a lot, experiencing lots of unstable emotions and finally making a big decision that would non-trivially contribute to the definition of me. I hope she’ll smile.
It’s me, my chemicals and very fragile peace.

AA: CD, PM. Three, Twenty five, Twenty Ten.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Community Service

Finally! It's been a long while since I felt that I -at least tried to- make a contribution to the community. I met people at the East West Initiative who are very motivated to serve the community and I wish I met them more than a year ago when I really needed to do some volunteering.
We visited a center that houses a group of mentally disabled persons (most of which are children). The most part that affected me was learning that mentally disabled people also feel. Unfortunately, it's very hard, if possible at all, for them to communicate their feelings or needs. I am still confused whether it is pointless or not to just be with the kids and make them feel better. It is surely good for them but I am not sure whether what we did was enough and even worth it.
We will do it again. I love what one of my friends in the group said while evaluating what we did. He said that whatever effect we had on the disabled lives, we had a great effect on the manager of the center. The manager of the center and the staff's belief in youth and their desire for a strong and harmonic community and also their willingness to help, was revived.
I want to see myself contributing to others. And I also want others to be beside me working on making the community a better place for everyone. I'm happy that we are determined to do more.

Capitalist Mentality

It has been a considerable time since I have felt that I am giving or contributing to the community I live in or to the people I live with. I have tried to do some work with the student council in my university to only be rewarded with being ignored.
I have spent considerable time planning and writing but with no outcome. I know well that if I am not able to do something to address this issue I am going to change. I know well that the human brain is highly capable of adapting and I am approaching a state of which helping out or doing good things to others is not a necessity or even a worse state in which I think it is a form of wasting time.
I fear adapting and therefore adopting a business-oriented capitalist mentality that is cold and only concerned with income and self benefit. While I think that this mentality is going to free me from many problems and issues that the community faces but from which I am not affected, I also think that becoming cold and senseless is a loss. A very valuable loss to the spiritual aspect of me, an aspect I need to keep healthy in order to be able to think of myself as a good person from deep inside.
Well, I'm going to go back to my highly structured plans that usually work and only wait to see whether the problem will be solved or resolved.
Wednesday 10:08AM June-3-2009

Sunday, March 7, 2010

mental junk

I want you to know…
But I remember
Night and sea, files and a window, night and sky, sea and its breeze, farewell and tears
He was on the ground, waiting for me. Or I was looking for him…
My clothes didn’t matter… He made me see what can’t be seen…
But wasn’t a memory or just a dream
So did he actually die…
Or did she know?
Maybe this is why she never listened
I’m back to do what I used to do
It’s all in my mind. My heart pumps blood and that’s all…
Dust is sadness and a deep breath is strong wind.
Love is free falling… Smiling.
If you only feel it.. it’s in your mind
But it was there…
The wood block was under the table
I used to go in eights and circles.
Jump to reach the ceiling.
Now I want to found my own company and its hard work and I spend lots of time working at home and reading at the library… Still, nothing is guaranteed.
I want my shirt to have a screen on it that shows images to what’s in my mind
Natural language is only an interface to thinking, an incomplete interface that attempts to provide thinking by expressing thoughts.. providing a means to express thoughts but there is more to thinking than NL
The book’s first two pages and last two pages where orange. And the monster lay in between. The maze was dangerous but I had to keep on reading
“They’re still young species”

Monday, February 22, 2010

Plug hack

Fire and electricity are really dangerous. This is why I don't waste my time fooling around with just one of them, I mess around with both. This is exactly the reason why I'm writing this blog post in the dark.
So it's 2:14AM, half an hour after a unique incident I caused by recklessly trying to do what I want, no matter what.
I don't have a lighter (nor matches.) It's night and supermarkets are closed, so I can't get a lighter to light up the oven to heat up some food I got from a restaurant yesterday.
I went out to the guard of the building in which I live. The friendly and smiley guard was as usual on his PC, chatting and listening to music. I asked him if he had a lighter and he told me to check whether there is one on a table in another room while he checked inside the drawers of his desk (he's a team player, I like that.) Unfortunately, our lighter-search team failed to accomplish the mission. I thanked him for the efforts and went back to my room.
It seems that I REALLY wanted to light up the oven, although I didn't really need to do that at all (the food was cooked, but cold). So my mind automatically generated this brilliant idea that made this blog possible.
I decided to hack a plug. I would short-circuit two wires and that would cause a spark at the contact point of the two wires. The spark would then light up the oven, just like matches or a lighter would.
I arranged the oven, the plug, and the wires (I used thin metallic cloth hangers for the wires) in a way that makes it easy to create and recreate my brilliant out-of-the-box experimental attempt to utilize the plug in this manner.
I placed one wire really close to the oven where the gas starts to come out. I did not to light up the oven on the first attempt because I wanted to make sure that the short-circuiting of the wires would actually generate a spark that would cause the gas coming out of the oven to light up.
So I just fix everything in place and make sure that the almost-dry towel is doing it's job of completely isolating my bare hands from the 220 volts-carrying wire. I switch on the plug and carefully grab the first wire and approach the other wire slowly and cautiously.
I knew I could die, but I really wanted to heat up my food. After all, what is life worth if you can't enjoy your midnight meals?
Anyways, I was startled by the most expected result, the spark and the sound that comes along. The lights went out. I thought that the lights won't go out because the plug wasn't a grounded plug (not connected to [the ground] for protection). But the lights went out and so did the safety switch for the whole room (for good). I went out to the electrical panel outside to see if I can turn it back on but it seemed to have been broken.
I'm cool. I finally ate my food, I was nervous so I ate it without thinking about it being cold. I'm gonna let them fix this tomorrow. I hope I won't get evicted..

Monday, February 1, 2010

Midnight Thirst

It's so dry I can barely breathe. When I wake up I usually think about what I dreamt of, or at least whether I can remember my dreams or not. But sometimes my body wakes up from thirst just like someone would wake up from a pinch or a clap. I can only think about my dry mouth and the emergency bottle of water beside my bed.
I grab it and drink water desperately trying to quench the persistent thirst. I'm not thinking, I don't even have my eyes open and I quickly put back the bottle and drop down on the bed, going back to my mind's asylum.
You might get your head hit by something then drop unconsciously into the sea only to gain consciousness while drowning, the sudden surprise invokes your instincts: 'go up for air'. This is what I felt the second time I woke up, except 'grasping' for the bottle of water, again.
I grab the faulty bottle of water and I suck on it. I squeeze it and fill my stomach with dissatisfactory water. Water simply just doesn't work. Now insomniac, a can of unhealthy and cold Red Bull is now my friend.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A cold-hearted god

It's crazy because all of our thinking can be reduced to mathematics. You can look at a paper with mathematical constructs, equations and expressions in it to find that this paper is actually a model to what's in your head in a given context.
We will reach the point where we will express love in terms of mathematics and the world is going to become cold. The world is cold because it was created by someone with infinite knowledge and one who knows everything cannot have a warm heart.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


What exactly happens to the mind when someone is struck by memories past?
Memories that hardly ever come to the mind, that they're completely forgotten and considered as never happened, are suddenly recalled into the mind and the conscious brain is unable to do anything except to fall into a trance. Not do I only feel the crushing feeling of missing something, but also I start to think about what I used to think at that period of my life. What my personality was like, what inspired me and what motivated me. I remember many of things that are related to the song, the image, the voice, the idea that provoked my memory of the past.
I've been struggling with memories and dreams for a long while. I just want to understand what goes on inside my mind. Another factor that fuels my interest in taking this endeavor seriously and studying the human brain and mind. The advanced degree of the sophistication of our brain that is even exceeded by the sophistication of the mind completely fascinates me. In addition to fulfilling curiosity, a more complete understanding of this issue would help me deal with it better.