Exercise Note 6

Today I was jogging. One of a series of exercises that are separated by long periods of physical stagnation (weeks between exercises, unlike 2 or so years ago when I used to exercise daily), as well as what I can almost call a curious personal transformation where my feelings are a blend of concentration, hope, sacrifice, and a bit of sadness that I haven't seen great results out of my hard work.

I jogged. I few minutes after, I felt this is going to be another dull exercise where I don't work out much. I kept going just to see how it goes, knowing the basic fact that it sometimes does get better and I should just keep going despite feeling heavy. At least a little more pushing will help me reap better health benefits out of the exercise.

I kept going and after a while it started to feel great. I felt that my breathing became more routine, easier, and automatic and the feeling that I well stop out of tiredness or lack of energy, well, that is what stopped actually and I kept going. I felt power in my lungs and my body felt like a machine, as I think it should (a flash of thought of my eating habits the last few days might be a factor in this, not going to detail this here). My brain was sparking with thoughts and dedication. This was a great exercise today. A successful exercise that lasted an hour. That's including some time walking and stretching at the end. I think I ran for half an hour at the start of the exercise; I didn't carry my phone or headphones with me as I most often do when I go exercise outside.

I don't go to the gym by the way, I jog outside and I do pass a nearby gym every time I go exercise. I think the lovely air outside and the dynamic scenery beats the dull feeling of equipment, air conditioning, and the static view of the gym by miles.

Now I'm back home to write this and I think, maybe the only thing that I need to do is just continue working on my projects and the great feelings of success will come. A few more feature sprints to develop my product further, then the sprints might accelerate or prospective customers will start noticing the advantages of my product, and/or I'll finally learn how to show the value of my products to the market more effectively.

This is my plan. Keep going for as long as I can and see what will happen. I hope it will be like my jog today: eventually great things will happen and I'll have a rational basis for feeling great. My great feelings will be a nice thought.

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I realize it's been a couple of years since I last blogged here! I'm surprised it's been that long! I think I have written things during this time, but haven't posted it for some reason, including not feeling open at all, or not taking the time to do an actual structured write up.

The last "exercise note" I wrote was actually more than THREE years ago! There must be some exercise note 6 that I haven't posted... I might update this if I find it.

Exercise Note 5

12:45AM May 31, 2015

I've been jogging for more than half an hour now including a break to stretch and some walking during which I was thinking about work, colleagues, friends, one special friend, abundance, dreams and ambitions and the future... my emotional and intellectual life.

Around 45 minutes earlier, I was at my parent’s home in Al Ain reading Fifty Shades of Grey like I was pushed to do so by my emotionally troubled but loving and cute devious girlfriend. I was interrupted by my dad who wanted me to leave early to Abu Dhabi so I wouldn't drive sleepy. I woke up late because I slept in late, so I was not going to be sleepy, but I didn’t make any remarks and when he insisted, I just left despite wanting to read more of the intriguing book that was to my surprise well written, entertaining and intellectually stimulating: not just a woman’s sexual fantasies (I read until chapter 4 so far). After reading some more of the book, I wanted to exercise a little bit to get my blood flowing: it makes me feel more alive.

I started driving off to Abu Dhabi like my dad asked. Then the dullness of not jogging for more than 2 days started to sneak into my bored head because I’m just sitting there idle at the steering wheel, just steering it. I need to get some blood flowing so I decided to park in front of Al Massa Hotel in Al Ain, near our home and just start jogging. I started to jog, and after 10 seconds or so jogged back to my, got my iPhone and headphones and resumed jogging. I jogged starting from a new point and through a new path enjoying the simplest forms of expedition.

After the jog I got into the car, I relieved my ears from my wired iPhone headphones, rolled them and put them in my backpack. I put my iPhone in the cup holder near the steering wheel where I usually put it. I sat down thinking whether I'll change my shirt now which was all wet with sweat. I notice a handful of people entering and walking around the parking lot nearer to the hotel and I think to myself that this is not really the place to get naked even for a couple of seconds to switch the shirt, but even, I'll have to dry myself a bit and wiping the sweat with the same shirt while naked would be kind of impolite and audacious.

When I sat down at the steering wheel, the thoughts started to rush to my head. I started to think about my life which has led me to start writing this article. At first I thought I'll drive a little and then start writing when some of the ideas inspired by the physical stress of exercise and the accompanying blood rush to the brain start compiling structurally. I ditched that. I decided to think about that thought itself, and the subsequent meta-thoughts of reflection is what I write here. The primary meta-thought here: why wait for thoughts to come before writing? Why not write about the thought of waiting for thoughts? I recall an inspiring article guiding people to not wait until they are creative. Just do and with enough luck of hard work, you’ll get that amazing masterpiece one day.

I need to learn to be more forward, just go for it, just be me and be brave and not ashamed of being me. I have a lot of great things about me including the fact that think way too much before I saw anything. This is why I barely ever say anything. Maybe someone sees me talking much, it's because I feel only say 10% of the ideas I have, and 50% of that are things I don’t even want to say, but the impulsiveness of youth makes me say it. That causes me to talk much, yet feel like I didn't talk at all since 10% is rather small. I’m best at writing, not talking.

I am also always in doubt and I am proud of it. I always ask myself what if I'm wrong. I always consider revising and checking whether I can do something better and I reiterate silently making people think I’m slacking or just slow. This is good intellectual hesitation that practically holds me back, unfortunately. If I'm wrong, so be it! I'll review my intellectual output, performance, and theory afterwards and make it better. This is part of my painful perfectionism that have always made me quite invisible to many interesting people and places during college. I now look back at those faulty things I have done, and think to myself wow, I was so enthusiastic and passionate about what I did but no one saw it because I was waiting for these projects to be complete. If only I did not hide in my cave of perfectionism in which I lock anything that isn't "complete." This reminds me of a recent article I read about the importance of considering things complete soon and way before they are actually decent products. The article quotes Reid Hoffman of LinkedIn who said that if one isn't ashamed of a site they build when they release it, they have released it too late. He said: “If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you've launched too late” This means just go for it and improve later! Don't get locked in perfectionism like I did. Of course I tell this to myself all the time. Just be practical, implement the minimum and and improve later on. This way I’m practical, but also open minded and able to improve.

I am learning how to be really really practical and I am happy I am learning such essential startup building skills, because that's what I want to do next. Startups are composed of three essential things equally: the spirit of innovation, the brilliant technology, and the pragmatism and flexibility that goes hand in hand.

These are amazing three things to discuss.

May 31 1:06AM

Wait! I just realized that I started my 26th year jogging. This is amazing and I'm very proud. I started jogging at 12:14 and now it's  1:07AM after some writing and jogging.

Everyday will be amazing from now on!

                                                                         

Exercise Note 4

I need to check one of my smart phones for the notes I took while I was jogging. This post is currently just a placeholder. Meanwhile, you can check Exercise Note 5.

Exercise Note 3

Last night I went to jog instead to the local network games place. The weather was cool (relatively to how hot it is here), which is really rare in Al Ain.

I got a glimpse of some beautiful past experiences, including some in Amman and Gaza where the weather is cool to perfection. I love the weather in Gaza more since being on the seaside makes the weather a lot nicer! The rush felt like I was full of life and energy.

I jogged for about 20 minutes continuously then started to get lazy, but just to enjoy the rush without really exercising so hard.

Next time I will give my muscles more time to rest, and then jog for 30-40 minutes. I'm aiming for even a better physio-mental experience.

Exercise Note 2

Once I reached the field of grass, I threw myself on the ground softened by the welcoming grass and started to contemplate the dark sky, with only 4 night lamps illuminating the edges of my view of the sky.

That when all that jogging pays off. All the blood rushing to my head tells me that there is lots of good things yet to come, there is much more to experience, the future has the potential of being beautiful, and if I wait just a little more, or by analogy, jog a little more, my life could change for the better dramatically.

The positive feelings that I get while jogging are a micro-analogy of the rewards in life. Sometimes I jog, I feel tried so I stop and enjoy a good break and the positive and jolly thoughts. But other times, I jog until I feel tired but I do not stop to get a break until I forget about the pain in my legs or my fast shallow breathing, and then 10-15 minutes later if not just a few, the rush is greater and so is the intensity of the pleasure. 

Exercise Note 1

This is not really the first note that I take after jogging. I love what happens to my mind when I stimulate myself through exercise. Most of the times I start thinking and imagining good things. Sometimes smart things, funny things, things that I find inspiring, or things that require guts.

Today I was inspired by an oasis, not in a desert of sand, but one of concrete. I was jogging amidst the building, some of them are interesting from an architectural point of view. The most important part was the fresh air. I was awake since dawn and the cool air is revitalizing.This is why I love the song Night Air by Jamie Woon; I can totally relate to it.

Before I entered the oasis I was delighted by the scent of flowers planted in front of one of the houses, I'm not sure where I was at first, and then I felt lost (still knowing the general direction I needed to take). I found myself behind the Prime Minister's residence (or is his office? near the 4th circle). The scent was beautiful, and I tried to keep its beauty in my mind as I was trying to ignore the smell of cars as I was only a few meters away.

I suddenly found myself in the oasis, there is nothing special about grass and olive trees. But I loved the green surprise. The vibrantly green and tall grass with a delicate sun shining through it was soothing to my soul that is getting worn out in an urban environment. The grass made the ground softer on my tired legs, the sun and the green made my mind arrive at a peaceful state.

I jogged from Jubeiha where I live, to Rainbow street in Jabal Amman where I had a delicious Chai Latte on that beautiful morning and had a chat with a friendly stranger who knows Farsi.

I hope this becomes a more consistent habbit.