It has been a considerable time since I have felt that I am giving or contributing to the community I live in or to the people I live with. I have tried to do some work with the student council in my university to only be rewarded with being ignored.
I have spent considerable time planning and writing but with no outcome. I know well that if I am not able to do something to address this issue I am going to change. I know well that the human brain is highly capable of adapting and I am approaching a state of which helping out or doing good things to others is not a necessity or even a worse state in which I think it is a form of wasting time.
I fear adapting and therefore adopting a business-oriented capitalist mentality that is cold and only concerned with income and self benefit. While I think that this mentality is going to free me from many problems and issues that the community faces but from which I am not affected, I also think that becoming cold and senseless is a loss. A very valuable loss to the spiritual aspect of me, an aspect I need to keep healthy in order to be able to think of myself as a good person from deep inside.
Well, I'm going to go back to my highly structured plans that usually work and only wait to see whether the problem will be solved or resolved.
Wednesday 10:08AM June-3-2009
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